I'm on vacation and have both kids by myself all week. Showering on a regular basis has been put on the back burner. It may have been taken off the stove completely. But today, I decided that I was going to take a real shower complete with washing myself and my hair and maybe even enjoying some peace and quiet for a few minutes. That was not to be. These are all the ways the boy child (6 years) and the girl child (7 months) conspired against me:
1. Boy child screaming like a banshee while trying to do handstands off the edge of my bed.
2. Boy child asking me to unclip the dog's collar.
3. Bought child screaming, "girl child just rolled over by herself!" (This is not a new skill nor is it the first time he's seen her do it.)
4. Boy child wearing the dog's collar and referring to himself as Mya.
5. Girl child rolled over again. I got shampoo in my eyes for this one.
6. Panic because he couldn't get the collar off and was scared he'd turn into a dog.
7. "How many elephants are in the circus?"
8. "is it going to rain tomorrow?"
9. He wanted a hug and a kiss.
10. He wanted to bring me girl child so I could give her a hug and kiss.
11. "Are you almost done?" I considered staying in the shower all day at this point.
12. "I'M STARVING!" Repeated at least 5 times.
13. "Girl child is about to roll off the bed but you said I can't pick her up again until you get out of the shower."
If I ever said or thought anything negative or judgemental about moms not looking put together, I apologize. If you happen to see me today, know I am clean and even wearing clean clothes. I have no idea when this will happen again.
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